No Poop In zer Vite Haus, Please

Are you watching the transformation of the White House Press Corps without Trump to kick around anymore?

Joe Biden has a dog problem.  Since the election, Americans have learned President Biden likes dogs.  Big dogs.  They brought two dogs with them to the White House.

One of them, Major, is turning into a major problem and it is complicating his possible promotion to Lt. Colonel.

First, Major likes to bite.  Twice now.  Now the problem has morphed.  White House staffers keep their eyes glued on the rug in front of them.  Staffers dare not suggest to the emperor he has no clothes – or that he has a doggie problem.  Biden insults people with dog references.  Remember the college student in the 2020 he called a “dog faced pony soldier.”  That would have cost him votes if we knew what it meant.

Americans like Biden because he doesn’t act so, uh, dog-matic.  Now Major has taken to pooping on White House rugs.  Major is, well, just being a dog.  The Bidens never trained Major to sit on a toilet seat and go poopers, or to recognize a nearby politician’s ankle is not a chew toy.

The twin problems are escalating.  Major is a real pooping machine.  He has that “I’m-gonna-poop-where-I-damn-well-please” ancestry, and moved from biting to dropping love notes where nobody expects to see them.  His latest deposit was on the floor outside the heavily traveled WH diplomatic room.

I mean, the ambassador to Upper Calf Slobber Siberia, doesn’t want to come out of the White House diplomatic room and have to clean doggie poo off his shoe.

Nobody is allowed to swat Major with a rolled-up newspaper.  Not only does swatting not work, but German Shepherds, being part of the old Wehrmacht, are not French poodles.  They’re big enough to retaliate.  I dunno whether turning Major into an attack dog would enhance Biden’s image or not.

Dog whacking would result in angry PETA activists storming the White House throwing horse nuggets and cow pies onto the lawn.

PETA might even re-register its people as Republicans.

Not only does Major now have an apparent license to poop anywhere he pleases, the White House press corps has been strangely silent as to WHOM Major was biting.  If Major bites a Russian diplomat, American forces might have to go to DefCon 4.  The Air Force dude with the nuclear football will do a happy dance in the hallway.

Typical MSM, hiding the truth.  When Trump was in the W.H., the MSM went Speculation Gaga over whether his 4 a.m. Happy Meal was catchup only or included pickle.  Now we can’t find out who Major is biting.

Maybe Major has sniffed out a Proud Boy plant inside the White House.

The lesson in all of this is Trump would have been reelected if he had a real dog in the Oval Office.  I’d have recommended a Great Pyrenees.  But he didn’t ask.

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Dean Halliday Smith

Dean Halliday Smith

Dean Halliday Smith is a fifth generation Kansan, a Vietnam vet, a lawyer, and grandfather several times over. His interests are Bleeding Kansas territorial days, the civil war, and post-war western novels.

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